Who Cut the Cheese? A Cutting-Edge Way of Surviving Change by Shifting the Blame

Introduction: The Loitering CerritosOne smoggy day at an Applebee's nestled in the heart of California's San Gabriel Valley, not far from the world's largest Toyota dealership, several former classmates who were good friends in high school, gathered for lunch. They had attended their class reunion the night before, and were anxious to compare catty notes about how ugly and unsuccessful everyone else in school had grown up to be.Candi, who had been one of the most popular people in class and now worked as an exotic dancer at Spearmint Rhino, said, "I never expected I would end up doing what I'm doing when I graduated high school. I guess I was filled with hopes and dreams then. I thought I was going to work my way through college and become a fully licensed Realtor. That's all changed for me now.""Sometimes it feels like everything has changed," agreed Brent knowingly. He operated his father's highly successful car dealership at the Auto-Square, so his classmates looked at him surprised. They had no way of knowing that he regularly engaged in humiliating S&M "pony play" scenes, during which a leather-clad dominatrix rode him like a horse with a red rubber ball gag for a bridle and a tail that came straight from a Mapplethorpe exhibit. "And sometimes," he continued, "all I want is for everything to return to the way it was. I'm afraid of what change is doing to me."Pedro mulled this over, then said, "I think no matter where you are, a change in the status quo always threatens to make matters worse."With his thick Mexican accent, Pedro was promptly ignored. The snub offended his Latino pride to the core, and he was about to say something when he realized that it had been thirty-five years of constant slights and systematic racism, and what the hell was he going to do about it now? He fell silent again, and fumed."Si, I theenk what he said," mimicked Jane.Everyone laughed. They were all happy that Pedro was among them again. He was the group's verbal pinata, and even though everybody was laughing at him, even he had to crack a smile.After a few drinks, the friends started relating war stories about how their own lives had careened down the tubes, often due to external changes that overwhelmed them. Most had tried various coping methods with limited success. Only one, Sandra, said she embraced change, a positive attitude she attributed to her personal relationship with the Lord Christ. The group loudly made fun of her and soon she left in a huff.The remaining friends continued to moan about their problems, feeling sorry for themselves and the unlucky changes that had intruded into their lives.Then Lewis, an experienced motivational speaker who had once filled the Hartford Civic Center up to the loge, looked up from his whiskey. His eyes were bloodshot from abusing cocaine all evening, and his lips were caked pink from the Pepto-Bismol tablets he had chewed in a vain attempt to keep from vomiting earlier in the morning.He groaned loudly, then spoke, "I used to fear change. After my company started doing badly, I would insist that my assistant go into my office each morning and wave smoking sandalwood incense sticks to ward off evil spirits. Then I would close the door behind me and sit completely still and alone in my office, doing nothing, waiting for the axe to fall."But then," Lewis continued, "I heard the fable of 'Who Cut the Cheese?' and that has made all the difference.""Explain?" Brent asked. He remembered the first time he went on AOL's member-created chat rooms and how that had introduced him to a world of fetishes far beyond anything the Auto-Square had ever prepared him for. Ever since then, he had hoped to hear a story that would lead him out of his vicious cycle of self-destructive sexual behavior. Perhaps, he hoped, this would be that story. "Lord knows, I need some help."Lewis nodded appreciatively, thenBrown, Mason is the author of 'Who Cut the Cheese? A Cutting-Edge Way of Surviving Change by Shifting the Blame', published 2000 under ISBN 9780743212359 and ISBN 0743212355.