What Janie Found

CHAPTER ONE Last seen flying west. Over and over, Janie read those last four words on the report. I could do that, she thought. I could be "last seen flying west." I too could vanish. By not being here, I could be a hundred times more powerful and more present. No one could ever set me down. I would control all their lives forever, just by being gone. She actually considered it. She didn't worry about the logistics--plane ticket, money, shelter, food, clothing. Janie had never lacked for shampoo or supper or shoes and she couldn't imagine not having them. She considered this: She could become a bad person. In the time it took for a jet to cross America, she, Janie Johnson--good daughter, good friend, good student, good sister--with no effort, she could ruin a dozen lives. She was stunned by the file folder in her fingers, but she was more stunned by how attracted she was to this idea--Janie Johnson, Bad Guy. In all that had happened--the kidnapping, the new family, the old family, even Reeve's betrayal--nothing had brought such fury to her heart as the contents of this folder. She couldn't even say, I can't believe it. Because she could believe it easily. It fit in so well. And it made her so terribly angry. She knew now why her older brother, Stephen, had dreamed for years of college. It was escape, the getaway from his massive store of anger. She herself had just finished her junior year in high school. If college was the way out, she could not escape until a year from September--unless she escaped the way Hannah had, all those years ago. Janie Johnson hated her father at that moment with a hatred that was wallpaper on every wall of every room she had ever lived in: stripes and circles and colors of hate pasted over every other emotion. But gently she slid the police report back into the file folder and put the folder in among the others, pressing with her palm to even up all the folders so that the one that mattered vanished. It took control to be gentle. Her fingers wanted to crush the contents of the folder, wad everything up and heave it out a window, and then fling the folder to the floor and drag her shoes over it. The drawer was marked Paid Bills. Her father was very organized, and now that he could do nothing himself, her mother wanted Janie to be organized in his place. For a few minutes, it had seemed like fun; Janie Johnson, accountant and secretary. The drawer contained a long row of folders, each with a center label, each label neatly printed in her father's square typewriter-looking print, each in the same blue ink. Folders for water bills and oil bills, insurance policies and tax reports. And one folder labeled with two initials. H.J. It was invisible in the drawer, hidden in the forest of its plain vanilla sisters. But to Janie it flamed and beckoned. You don't have to stay here, being good and dutiful and kind and thoughtful, said the folder. You can be Hannah. *** Reeve Shields was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, his cutoff jeans and long tan legs sticking out toward Janie. Mrs. Johnson had been sure the project of Mr. Johnson's papers would include plenty of work for Reeve, but so far she had not thought of an assignment for him. That was okay. He was too busy studying Janie to sort papers. Janie had a very expressive face. Her features were never still but swung from thought to thought. If he could read cheeks and forehead and chin tilt, he could read Janie. But although he had lived next door to her ever since he could remember, and although they had once been boyfriend and girlfriend and had been through two hells together, right now he could not read her face. He did, however, know that he wanted to read the contents of that file. The label was very tempting. TheCooney, Caroline B. is the author of 'What Janie Found', published 2002 under ISBN 9780440227724 and ISBN 0440227720.