Privilege and Scandal The Remarkable Life of Harriet, Countess of Bessborough and Sister of Georgiana Spencer

One The Eligible Match 17611780 I must put down what I dare tell nobody. I should be ashamed were it not so ridiculous," wrote Harriet to her lover. ". . . In my fifty- first year I am courted, followed, flattered, and made love to... thirty-six years, a pretty long life, I have heard and spoken that language, for seventeen years..." Love of one form or another was always to be the force that fashioned Harriet's existence. Tall of stature, yet voluptuous in her figure, she was a woman of haunting allure. Her high-cheekboned narrow face was dominated by features that seemed over-large in their fragile surroundingsa slender aristocratic nose, a provocative full-lipped mouth, and huge dark almond-shaped eyes that could grow warm, amused, intelligent, or dreamy according to whim. The portraitist John Hoppner, famous for his portrayals of glamorous aristocrats, painted Harriet in her mid-twenties, just as fashions in portraiture became less formal and more revealing. She is shown in profile, arms stretched protectively around her two eldest sons, delicately chiseled features and slender neck emerging from the froth of a deep collar. Her hair dark, unpowdered, adorned only with a simple band, tumbles naturally about her delicate face, giving her the air of a glamorous latter-day Venus rather than a Madonnathe usual allusion for mother-and-child portraits. Slanting eyes gaze at one of her sons, but focus in the distance, and something in this come-hither look exudes the intellect, artlessness, and allure that made Harriet so compelling to friends and lovers alike. The admiration that Harriet received at an early age sprang from her social standing as much as from her unusual looks. She was born Lady Henrietta Frances Spencer,* in Wimbledon, on June 16, 1761, into one of the wealthiest and most venerable dynasties in England. As she was the third of John and Margaret Georgiana Spencer's children, her birth received less attention than did her older siblings'. Fair- haired, blue-eyed Georgiana, who would achieve future fame as the fashionable Duchess of Devonshire, had been born in 1757 and was doted on by her mother as her favorite and firstborn child. George John (who would become Viscount Althorp) had arrived a year later, six weeks prematurely, and was celebrated as much for surviving as for being the only male heir. But Harriet failed to rouse the same passionate affection and, despite the fact that her mother claimed to have "uncommon tenderness...for my children," the only surviving reference she made to Harriet in her early days is one of coolness rather than warmth: The child (who by the bye is a little ugly girl) and myself are thank god as well as our situations will permit us to be. I cannot say she is quite so small or so frightful as George was, though she has not much less of either of those commodities she has...no one beauty to brag of but an abundance of fine brown hair. Harriet may have taken third place in her mother's affections, but Lady Spencer had strong views on how she wanted Harriet to be raised, even from the earliest days of infancy. Producing legitimate children had always been key to an eighteenth-century aristocratic wife's existence, although many mothers relinquished their responsibilities with the baby's safe delivery, leaving breast-feeding, care, and education to others. But by the time of Harriet's birth, ideas about motherhood and child-rearing were changing. The writings of John Locke and Jean-Jacques Rousseau taught that the expression of passion and emotion was something to be desired. Bound up with this was the fact that children were to be viewed as individuals who were entitled to kindness, and the bond between a mother and her children was something to nurture and encourage. MotherGleeson, Janet is the author of 'Privilege and Scandal The Remarkable Life of Harriet, Countess of Bessborough and Sister of Georgiana Spencer', published 2007 under ISBN 9780307381972 and ISBN 0307381978.