On The Verge

My best friend, Gwen, talks like an auctioneer when she's excited. Her hands f lit about and her mouth moves so rapidly she's already halfway through the story by the time you can say, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. Start at the beginning." Her mind has a tendency to race ahead, and getting her to explain anything in a simple, chronological sequence is almost impossible. This time, though, she spelled it all out pretty clearly, with only occasional lapses into stream-of-consciousness neuroses peppered with expletives. Who could blame her for those little slips though, when the Creature from Planet Blonde was treating her like the gassy old family dog, making her ride in the backseat for thirteen hours on twisty coastal roads, filling her head with suspicions about Coop, who's probably the only man in the western hemisphere with the body of a rock star but the heart of a--Oh, wait. I'm doing it now, too, aren't I? Okay, let me back up a little.I was packing for Paris when I realized I had absolutely nothing to wear. It was one of those dry-mouthed, cold-sweat moments that sometimes hit you when you're leaving the country in less than twenty-four hours with your very French fianceacute; to meet his upper-crust Parisian parents. We were staying for a month and so far I'd packed my favorite pair of threadbare plaid pajamas, the oversized Mickey Mouse T-shirt I've been wearing since I was twelve, a pair of ancient Levi's with four patches sewn into the butt and my toothbrush. I'm not very schooled in the art of fashion, but even I knew I couldn't very well make a glamorous impression with that wardrobe--at least, not without accessorizing heavily.There was no question. I had to see Gwen, stat.A little background: I met Gwen twelve years ago, during our sophomore year at Analy High. I was the new kid, walking around with that dazed, I'm-never-going-to-survive-until-three-o'clock catatonic stare. The minute I stepped foot in the Home Ec room I spotted her and my listless I-don't-care-if-you-talk-to-me-or-not mask slipped away just like that. The morning sunlight through the dirty windows lit her like a starlet waiting for her close-up. She was wearing leopard-print kitten heels and a boxy 1950's pink wool suit. At her throat was a strand of pearls, matching earrings shone from the dark, meticulously arranged sweep of her shoulder-length bob. But here was the touch that rendered her truly surreal--the over-the-top Gwenism that made me wonder if I'd stumbled through a metaphysical portal and come out in 1957: on her head was a pillbox hat. It sat at just the right, casually precise, slightly f lirtatious angle, and I could tell by her smirk that she knew the effect was dazzling.Gwen Matson's reputation at Analy High could be summed up in two words: total freak. Everyone there considered her a tragic example of what could happen if you were just a little too weird to be cool. She was cuter, smarter and better dressed than anyone at that small town school--she was even valedictorian and yearbook editor--but the popular kids treated her like a leper because she insisted on walking around in pillbox hats, patent leather shoes and kid gloves. This was the nineties and Grunge was King. Gwen was the anti-Grunge; she'd sooner set her own hair on fire than don a f lannel shirt.In sharp contrast to Gwen's stubborn eccentricity, I was a die-hard conformist. Gwen's willingness to stand out terrified me, so much so that I was afraid, in those first few seconds, to befriend her. I hesitated there in the doorway of that stuffy Home Ec room, hovering between my just-try-not-to-be-noticed past and the bright pink future of a friendship with Gwen. I guess her allure was more powerful than my fear, because I stepped forward and said in a small, trembling voice, "Hi. My name's Marla." She seized my pale fingers and we shook hands like the wives of ambassadors meeting on the steps of the White HoGehrman, Jody is the author of 'On The Verge ', published 2005 under ISBN 9780373895489 and ISBN 0373895488.