Making a Baby Everything You Need to Know to Get Pregnant

What You Must Know About Infertility "This was the first time in my life that I was faced with failure," 31-year-old Megan said about her inability to get pregnant. "Since I was a child, I always set lofty goals and worked hard to meet these. When my doctor said we had 'unexplained infertility,' it was as if my life was in chaos and out of my control." Lorri had a successful dental practice and finally married her college boyfriend at age 34. "I could not believe that I was a successful pedodontist, dedicating my life to helping young children, yet I could not have my own baby. After three years of trying to conceive, we finally turned to in vitro fertilization and now are the parents of twins. But I will never forget the emotional upheavals and feelings of grief and anxiety we went through." When 26-year-old Rob played college basketball, he suffered a groin injury that resulted in a ruptured testicle. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that this problem slashes the chances of making a baby. After undergoing a battery of tests, my urologist said I have a low sperm count. Yet medical technology is amazing. Our team of doctors used some high-tech methods to sperm to fertilize my wife's eggs so we could make a healthy baby. The result? Two active boys, now ages two and four. They are my life!" Remember how, when you were eight, you dreamed of having a family some day? For 32-year-old Jennifer, being a mother was her ultimate childhood wish. My good friends talked about having children but also being teachers or doctors. Not me. I just wanted to stay at home and take care of babies, and I wanted a house full! Mark and I waited until our late twenties to start a family, then tried for over a year to get pregnant with no luck. You probably know how I felt when my doctor said I was infertile due to ovulation problems. I wanted to run, to cover my head, so I didn't have to hear the words. But I couldn't escape this reality. That was two years ago. Tonight Mark is struggling with a colicky baby who refuses to honor one o'clock in the morning as quiet time. I am rocking her twin sister, lying in my arms wide-eyed and grinning. I'm reminded of the old saw "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." Of course, we did more than just wish for a baby, we engineered it. At times, it has felt like we were birthing a Martian rover rather than a storybook bundle of joy. Many people dream of having a family some day, even before they meet Mr. or Miss Right. In fact, most of us assume that making a baby the old-fashioned way is a natural birthright. After all, we are made to be sexual beings, so anyone can get pregnant, right? Wrong. For an estimated 5 to 8 million infertile couples in the United States, making a baby is difficult, if not seemingly impossible. Whether from your irregular menstrual cycles, from his reduced sperm count, or for unknown reasons, infertility is a fact of life and a vastly growing concern. "My friends tell me it's all in my head," 37-year-old Allison said. "We've tried to get pregnant for three years now, and all my friends are either expecting or pushing strollers. If it is in my head, I need to know what therapist can help me reverse it--now." Infertility is not in your head. It is not the result of something you did as a child or rebellious acts as a teenager. Nonetheless, a chief barrier to overcoming infertility occurs when well-meaning friends and family members suggest that infertility is "imagined." You have probably heard the following statements: Maybe if you weren't so obsessed about getting pregnant, it would just happen. Since the mediciBruce, Debra Fulghum is the author of 'Making a Baby Everything You Need to Know to Get Pregnant', published 2000 under ISBN 9780345435439 and ISBN 0345435435.