Life Is for the Living and the Dying/Searching the Shadows An Anthology

January 1st 2002; I stand with family members at the beside of my comatose brother whose life is sustained by means beyond his control. In eight weeks he has experienced a hip replacement, heart attack, bypass surgery, pulmonary distress, and subsequent failure of body systems. I wait an undetermined time with my hand placed over his heart; it's comforting to sense his serenity. The mechanical support is removed, a few shallow breaths remain while his heart slows to nothingness and the vibrancy is gone. I feel that the vehicle of the body is only one phase of existence. It is a contradiction in continuous motion, knowing its course; capable and synchronous - yet so fragile. Thoughts center as I examine the effect of this powerful event. Unexpected vacancy surprises me; naively I feel the desertion of both parents and now my only sibling - no one remains to share my childhood years. Death is mighty and no measure of preparation can diminish its impact. How will my death be approached? I puzzle over the intricacy and mystery of a relationship, even after a lifetime of familiarity. Many questions remain unanswered, but memories and optimism are constant as a dear one move beyond.Huffaker, BonnieMarie Goul is the author of 'Life Is for the Living and the Dying/Searching the Shadows An Anthology' with ISBN 9780970205001 and ISBN 0970205007.