Hot Mamas : The Ultimate Guide to Staying Sexy Throughout Your Pregnancy and the Months Beyond

The First Trimester Sex During Pregnancy: The Challenges and the Payoffs Ladies, I am here to share with you how other couples have benefited physically, emotionally, and spiritually by keeping their sexual pilot lights on during pregnancy. It's entirely up to you to choose when and how to turn on the heat, but by listening and staying open to the experience of others, you may feel more informed and therefore more motivated to remain sexual throughout your pregnancy. Consider what Colleen, a forty-year-old mother, shared with me: "This is my second pregnancy, and I seem to have no recollection of ever feeling this tired with my first child. But this one has really taken the wind out of my sails. Usually my partner and I have sex once or twice a week sometimes even three times. But once I started getting so tired, I just didn't feel like sex. Then we tried it what can I say? It's like a magic elixir the sex makes me feel more energetic and less tired!" Now, before you begin to mentally fling items at Colleen, let me assure you that Colleen is not alone. Nicole, a university law professor, shared, "I developed an entirely different relationship with exhaustion. I now know the meaning of bone weary. Yet exhausted as I was, I still found my husband hot. When I got home from work, all I wanted was to be held by him. Call me crazy, but staying sexual with him was what took care of me." It's true: sex during pregnancy not only happens but it can also deliver enormous pleasure, gratification, and sometimes welcome relief. However, lest you think I have heard only one perspective not so. I spoke with plenty of women who said they were not at all interested in sex during pregnancy. "You've got to be kidding," said Mariellen when I asked her if she experienced an increase in her libido during pregnancy. "I wouldn't let my husband near me! I was so exhausted and so sick during my first three months, sex was the furthest thing from my mind." But after a thoughtful pause, she added, "It's been almost two years, and I wish I had stayed sexual with my husband. But it was like society gave me an excuse you don't hear a lot about pregnant women wanting or needing sex. I just thought it was natural to stop, so I didn't even try." Other women also expressed their regret about not having stayed sexually connected to their partners during pregnancy. Dana said, "Sex was the last thing I wanted. I felt so weighed down physically and emotionally, I just wanted to be left alone. But now I see how long it has taken to get our relationship back on the sexual track." The deep frustration of these women came through loud and clear. At the time, they didn't feel the motivation to be sexual, but they also never considered choosing to be sexual. As a result, they often felt alone and overwhelmed by their lack of connection to their partners not exactly an inspired mood for sex. So how can women respond differently to this situation? Is there a way to get in the mood when the challenges of pregnancy seem stacked against you? From listening to hundreds of women who did stay sexually connected to themselves and their partners during their first trimesters and throughout their pregnancies, I found that the consistent underlying factor was their having made a conscious decision to be and stay sexual. The women who enjoyed sexual and sensual pleasure throughout the tumultuous nine and a half months also held fast to a common belief: that the best thing they could do for themselves, their relationship, and the future well-being of their soon-to-be-born child was to stPaget, Lou is the author of 'Hot Mamas : The Ultimate Guide to Staying Sexy Throughout Your Pregnancy and the Months Beyond' with ISBN 9780385660495 and ISBN 0385660499.