Are You a Geek? 1,000 Ways to Find Out

LIFESTYLE You live on your own. 1 point You live with your mum. 2 points ...and you're over 30. 3 points ...and she still makes your meals, wakes you up in the morning and checks your appearance before you leave the house. 5 points You can't eat without watching TV at the same time. 1 point You can't go to the bathroom without taking something to read with you. 1 point You've got out of bed in the middle of the night because you couldn't resist checking your email. 2 points While emptying your trash can, you've spotted litter that dated back more than 30 days. 1 point If something goes wrong with your computer, you fix it right away, but if your washing machine breaks, you leave it for a while. 2 points The last time you changed your sheets was over a month ago. 3 points *Bonus Points* You have the following posters on your wall: Data from Star Trek 1 point Buffy 1 point An Escher artwork 1 point A map of the world 1 point A magic eye picture 1 point You've set aside an afternoon specifically to rearrange your CD collection. 3 points You've set aside an evening specifically to watch the special features of a DVD. 3 points You had a pizza delivered last night. 1 point ...and ate the cold remains of it for lunch today. 3 points You've completed a takeout loyalty card in the last couple of weeks. 3 points You often drink so much coffee or cola that you can't sleep at night. 2 points When you can't sleep, you find yourself jotting down ideas for brilliant new inventions that make no sense in the morning. 3 points You spend more on eBay than at your local supermarket. 3 points Look at the "call list" menu on your mobile and write down the last ten numbers you called. 1 ......................................... 2 ......................................... 3 ......................................... 4 ......................................... 5 ......................................... 6 ......................................... 7 ......................................... 8 ......................................... 9 ......................................... 10 ........................................ Award yourself one point for every food delivery number you called. ___ Points *Bonus Points* Your personal smell can best be described as: Axe 1 point Medicated soap 2 points Antiseptic cream 3 points Mildew 4 points A mixture of stale washing, secondhand books and piss 5 points *Bonus Points* You've actually done the following slapstick jokes in real life: Walking into a lamppost because you were distracted by something 1 point Slipping on a banana peel 2 points Looking at your watch while holding a drink, and spilling it down yourself 3 points Turning around suddenly while carrying a ladder, and hitting someone with it 4 points FaCollins, Tim is the author of 'Are You a Geek? 1,000 Ways to Find Out', published 2006 under ISBN 9780385340151 and ISBN 038534015X.